Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
And then he peed in my hair
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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