doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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