I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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