I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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