I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize