mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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