I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
