My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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