I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
