its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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