Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
