you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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