I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
