so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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