if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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