Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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