FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
