Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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