all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
