somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
