you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
