he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
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you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
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what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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