There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
