If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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