hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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