I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
