Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
