I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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