The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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