As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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