I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
