i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
