i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
