Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize