The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
