mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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