ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
