Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
