I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
