I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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