Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
