so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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