Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
