You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
