Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
