The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
