He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
