Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
