I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
