Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you made out with another girl for some wings
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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