we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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