I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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