im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
