Will you blow on my dice?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
