im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
