btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
