As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize