the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Rumble strips road head = magical
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
