Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
