Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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