I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
