While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
