Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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